Hold on Tight

As I sat down, wrapped my arms around you, and prepared for the plunge...I was suddenly reminded of a time when you were small. Your hands held on to me, excited..but slightly afraid. I told you it'd be fun, that you'd love it. And you did. Your long blond hair flew in my face as we raced down the snowy hill. You giggled the whole way down. And when we reached the bottom, I knew what you'd say next, "Can we do it again, Mommy?"

Today, you're older...practically a teenager. You walked up that hill and I couldn't believe my eyes...so much like a young lady, not a little girl anymore. This time, I wrapped my arms around you, held on tight,and together we plunged downhill and laughed out loud. I couldn't help but think about how that ride was so similar to the way you live life, Lili. So free, so fun, just loving the ride...

And the more you grow, I'm aware I hold on a bit too tightly sometimes. But I love the way you love the fun. I hope you never stop loving the ride. I love you. ~Mommy

Rise Up

Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow

Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold

Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold

Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole

~Eddie Vedder

Hurricane Lili

This girl holds the ability to set a room on fire with her light.In her 12 1/2 years of life, Lili has seen many things, been to many places, made many beautiful friends, and said many heart breaking good-byes...and all the while, she's been growing. In the past year, our family has moved back to our home country and tried to blend back into our old lives. This was Lili's 4th school in 7 years. Now that she has officially entered Jr.High, there seems to be a premature pressure among the other kids to hurry up and figure out who you're gonna be. But Lili...she goes with the flow, experiencing everything. She has a side to her that does care what others think of her-but that thought is usually snuffed out soon enough when she gets the desire to make people laugh. Her energy can be contagious. She's witty. She's quick with the comments. She's animated. She makes me smile. She's exactly the kind of person I would have wanted as a best friend in the 7th grade. I am so proud of her and how far she's come.

Having said that, I am also proud of the fact that I KNOW my daughter...I mean really know her. I know exactly what she is capable of. It can easily be predicted that she will be unpredictable. And it can be safely assumed that absolutely anything is liable to come out of her mouth at any given time...anything. And although I sometimes say that I wish I had a crystal ball to show me what she's about to pull next...I really wouldn't want it any other way. I mean really, what else can you expect from a girl that was named after a hurricane.

Reflections of Christopher

I have often said that Christopher's soul has lived many lives before entering his body. At times his spirit seems much more like an 80 year old than an 10 year old. While I'm sure most parents have at times felt that our children have taught us more than we've taught them, I could write a book on the things I've learned from each one of my kids.

Christopher came with a lesson plan that was unexpected, at times frustrating, but completely enlightening. All his life, he's been set in his ways. Intolerant of loudness, insisting on a schedule, avoiding the uncomfortable, craving predictability. While some are terrified of being alone, for Christopher the solitude is like a warm blanket. The silence, for him, offers a peacefulness that I'm not even sure if I've had the pleasure of knowing in my own life. In short, this kid is brilliant...wise beyond his years. His eccentrics can be entertaining. (I mean, have you SEEN this kid draw?) And sure, he's liable to start up table conversation with random topics like, "Ok, who here wears socks to bed? Show of hands..." He brings a smile to everyone who knows him well.

Having said that, yes...he does enjoy a good jab at his older sister or poke at his younger brother. And yes, he has been known to provoke his siblings until they are wound to complete fury-then walk away smiling...I mean come on, he IS ten after all.